Whether you are single or in a relationship (negative or positive), I hope this blog post can shed some light for you.
Just over 12 months ago, I had given up pretty much all hope. Failed meeting, after failed meeting… they didn’t even get to the relationship stage! I kept thinking ‘tick, tock’, ‘what’s wrong with me’, ‘maybe I’m destined to be single forever’…. If you are single and are anything like I was, you cringe when people say ‘it will happen when you least expect it’, ‘when you know you know’… I will be honest and say that I wanted to punch something every time I heard it!
I had heard the old cliché of loving yourself before you can receive/give love to another. So I did just that, I spent a lot of time last year working on myself, love and relationships. AND STILL NOTHING! I then had a conversation with my beautiful cousin and told her that I had just accepted the fact that I may be single…. forever. I was so grateful for all the other amazing things in my life and told her that if I had to feel how I did in past relationships, I’d rather not. Her response… ‘That is what I said just before I met my husband’. Then next day at a race event a great friend of mine wanted to introduce me to her cousin… my first thought was, nope, I’m over this men thing… Until I met him…
We had so much in common and hit it off straight away. We both jumped in the deep end… meeting friends and family, going on holidays and traveling the highway between our two homes (yep, a distance of 1000kms separated us). I recall friends and family telling me that it should be easy, and just happen, and it was so true! It all happened so fast, but it was just so easy to commit to spending time together as it just felt so right. Each and everyday I fall more and more in love with him! He is all the things I dreamed of… considerate, caring, funny, supportive, loving, loyal, open, honest, driven, smart, and of course a handy man (how much space do I have?! I could go on!).
So just a few days ago, on our 12 month anniversary, (we now live together yippee) I thought what better time to share our love story, to:
1) Show the single ladies out there that there is hope, and how to create an life that you love, with or without a man and;
2) Show those in relationships how to keep the flame alive!
Because ‘if a relationship ended how it started it wouldn’t end’ (quote from the amazing coach Tony Robbins). We are either depositing or withdrawing from our relationships. Nothing stays the same, so will your relationship stay healthy, happy and full of love, or toxic, sad and full of anger or frustration?
Here’s are my 3 R’s to Relationships that I found changed my life!
- Respect: For those who are single it is really about respecting yourself. How many of you beat yourself up – ‘I am not pretty enough’, ‘smart enough’, ‘I’ll always be single’… etc etc. It is about using the brain bully technique (see my post here), and switching the negative self-talk into more positive self-talk. E.g, I notice I am getting better at loving myself/treating myself with respect. For those in a relationship it is about showing respect to the other person, and yourself, within the relationship. We all get frustrated and angry, but try taking 5 deep breaths before jumping down your partner’s throat. They are doing the best they can with what they know in that moment. We all are. I love the book the Queen’s Code, which gives simple strategies (through a love story) that can help enhance our relationships and prevent us from emasculating or objectifying each other.
- Relate: If you are not investing time in your relationship it is not growing… this is the relationship with both yourself and with your partner. If you are single, are you making YOU TIME? Have you created your love list of things you love to do? Are you building yourself up to be the version of the partner you want to attract (we are what we attract)? Are you also getting out and meeting new people? Are you saying yes to things you perhaps wouldn’t? Are you staying comfortable and not taking chances? Stepping outside your comfort zone is where the magic happens! If you are in a relationship… Are you taking time out for YOU TIME? Not partner time, but YOU time? And also making time for DATE NIGHT? Each week we make it a priority to spend time together, no technology (phones, TV, computers etc). This gives us a real chance to connect.
- Read: What are you reading? If you are not where you want to be in your relationships, with yourself and/or your partner, what are you doing to help the situation? There are so many amazing books around relationships to help you live the life you desire. I mentioned the Queens Code above. Or ‘Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus’, The 5 Love Languages….Whether it is manifesting the person of your dreams, self-love, or enhancing your relationship with your partner, there is a plethora of information. Just. Invest. The. Time 🙂
So maybe you would love some one on one support in the area of relationships? If so, please get in contact with me, I would love to offer a complimentary chat, to see what is happening for you.
So from today, choose 1 thing from the 3 Rs and begin to implement it in your relationship (with you and/or your partner). You will be amazed at the difference! x